If hell was an airport....

Morning comes way, way too early. I spent the night trying to pack and shove as much in as I could. I can never get everything packed on the return like I could on the departure. We leave the B&B at around 4:30am. Mandy, the proprietor of the Graham Arms B&B was nice enough to see us off. I don't know if she was sad to see us go or just happy for us to get the hell out of her house.
As we did on the trip from the airport we packed the smaller car that Rob and Jody were driving to the gills with luggage. We put down the back seats and shoved about everything we could in it, including my backpack and camera bag. The other car we put the rest of the family and just a couple pieces of luggage in the trunk.
Driving down and watching the countryside roll by I'm already starting to miss Scotland. There is quite a bit that I didn't get to see. I really wanted to visit Roslyn Chapel, Edinburgh, take a distillery tour, visit the coast, and visit some of the islands. I'll just need to come back some time.
We stop a couple of times on the way to Manchester to recycle some coffee and make pretty good time to the airport. First thing to do is to drop off the rental cars. We're following Rob & Jody's car and go around a few roundabouts in stop and go bumper to bumper traffic. Rob pulls up in front of one of the three terminals and asks some question we can't hear to a uniformed officer who is directing traffic in front of the terminal's loading zone. The officer replies with an answer we can't hear and Rob drives off. Dad, who is driving our car, tries his best to keep up but we get cut off by a few cars pulling out of the terminal. We lose sight of Rob's car around a roundabout. Assuming that he's looking for the rental return we try drive by one parking lot and don't see his car, drive around another roundabout and follow signs to yet another rental car return. We end up at terminal 3 which we recognize as the terminal we flew into. The rental car return is on the top floor of the parking garage, same place we picked up the car in the first place. We still see no sign of Rob and Jody. We wait for a bit thinking that he got stuck somewhere we didn't see. When he still hadn't shown up we headed to the rental car desk to turn in the car and see if Rob had turned the car in at one of the other of the three terminals and rental car returns. No dice. Of course at this point I'm starting to panic. The plane will take off soon and I have a connecting flight in Chicago to catch. Of course I have an additional problem. I have my suitcase with me but my camera and backpack which has my wallet and passport in it are with Rob. I'm having visions of myself as a bum on the streets of England...no identification, no money, can't leave because I can't return to the U.S. without a passport. Reminds me of Merhan Kerimi Nasseri, a man who lived in Charles de Gaulle airport for 18 years. Trapped in red tape limbo because his paperwork was stolen after arriving at the airport.
Even if Rob and Jody managed to turn the car in somewhere else, they would have way too much luggage for two people to carry.
At this point we're really seeing the benefit of cell phones and how much faith we've put in them over the years. We've become so used to the convenience of mobile phone communications that we've become sloppy. Minimal planning and no back up plan. I can always remember as a kid being told things like "if we get separated we'll meet at point x at this time."
Mom tries to use a Sam's Club calling card that is "supposed" to work internationally using the rental desk's phone to call Rob's mobile (which does work here). After struggling with it for what seems like an eternity she gives up. Meanwhile some other travelers have arrived at the rental desk. Cindy, Jody's mother, being resourceful asks a woman who is from Canada if we could use her cell phone to call Rob. For whatever reason, the call doesn't go through either.
One last check with the rental desk turns up that Rob turned the car in at Terminal 1 about 10 minutes ago. At least we know he's not completely lost somewhere. Of course we still have the predicament that he's in a completely separate terminal with a pregnant wife and two tons of luggage. We decided to trek across the street over to Terminal 3 where our plane is scheduled to leave from and see if by some miracle they've appeared over there. The place is packed to the gills. Wall to wall people waiting at the check-in counters. I scurry about looking to see if I can spot Rob & Jody and a mountain of luggage but return to the group unsuccessful. We have a powwow trying to figure out what the heck we're going to do now. Out of the corner of my eye, I see two luggage trolley piled sky-high with luggage moving through the crowd...a very unhappy looking Rob pushing one and Jody pushing the other.
We're overjoyed to see him an quickly dismantle the luggage pile and start heading to the check-in desks. He mumbles something about the asshole security guard told him that the BMI terminal was terminal 1, which is how they ended up in the wrong terminal.
Cindy, being bolder than I would be, tells an airline employee who is directing travelers our sad story. They take pity on us open a cordon, let us through and check out passports and ask us the standard questions. My parents have an additional problem in that they want to be able to push out the departure date of their flight from Chicago to Austin in order to help Jody move to Canada. Mom of course is freaking out that their luggage will continue on to Austin without them if they check-in without changing the flight now. Rob, who is already stressed out, calls the airline only to be told that BMI can't do anything about United's flights and so on. I'm not altering my travel plans, so I go first to the check-in and get my boarding pass. Cindy and Mike follow me and we get in a line to go through security. We wait for a while wondering what the heck is taking mom and dad so long. I'm assuming that they are trying to finagle their flights around. A few more minutes go by and we realize that we've actually not been waiting in the line for security but rather the line to go to a different check-in counter. Crap. We course correct and are soon going through security and are poked and prodded through the metal detectors.
I start hustling to get to the gate...which of course is at the very far end of the terminal. I get closer and see that the doors to the gate are closed and the queue is cordoned off. Crap...I'm thinking we're doomed we've missed it. I rush up and talk to an airline staffer stationed there hoping to plead my case. To my utter surprise he says "Sorry, we're not boarding yet." Whew!
Mom, Dad, Rob and Jody straggle in a minute later. Turns out it would have cost well over $1000 to get their flight changed, so they won't be staying in Chicago.
Rob and I make a mad dash to the cafe to get 10 gallons of water for Jody to have on the flight. We make it back just in time for our rows to be called to board the plane. I walk down the gangway only to be struck with amusement at the sight of a giant rack full of free bottled water for people to take with them on the plane.
The flight to Chicago was long and boring. I finished reading my book early in the flight. I tried to sleep a little but I'm always too uncomfortable to sleep on planes. The girl sitting next to me sleeps the entire trip. My only excitement came towards the end of the flight where she woke up and started looking nauseas and groped about in the seatback looking for the barf bag. It didn't take long before she was dry heaving into the bag. She slept through all the meals and drink service...so luckily nothing came up.
We touched down in Chicago and deplaned. We get our luggage and head through immigration and customs. We say goodbye to Mike and Cindy who are hopping a ride on a hotel shuttle to retrieve their car and start their drive home. Rob and Jody join us on the tram ride to the domestic terminal so they can retrieve their car and head to Jody's.
After hugs and goodbyes, Mom, dad and I find our gate and realize we have something like 4 hours to kill before our flight leaves. This wait gets pushed out even longer as the incoming flight is delayed due to weather wherever it is. I peruse the bookstores and buy a magazine to keep me occupied on the flight. I take advantage of the airport wi-fi to punch out a few blog posts from earlier in the week...but make it a point not to touch my work email.
After what seemed like an age, we finally board our flight and are on the last leg of our journey home.
Tomorrow, I plan on sleeping and get caught up on all the TV I've missed over the week. Isn't DVR great?